...Gay Bashing

So this is my first post and I'm starting with a controversial topic. While growing up, I've always heard of people bashing gays and condemning their lifestyle. I really don't understand what is the big deal? Just so that we are clear, I'm not gay but I see no reason to condemn their lifestyle.

I am a Jamaican and very proud of that, but the fact is, some of my fellow countrymen do not care to hear this argument. My country is known as anti-gay, prejudice, murderous, and inflexible as it relate to this topic. In my opinion however, there is no need for all of that hostility. Why is it that one group of human beings are advocating for the death of another group human beings? What is really the issue? Is it that we do not like what they do in the privacy of their home or wherever they decide to have sex? Outside of the sexual act itself, how are gays different from heterosexuals? I propose that there is no difference.

I would have a problem if they were having sex on the streets for all to see. But guess what, I would also have a problem if heterosexuals were having sex on the streets. I would have a problem if they were trying to influence my child to have gay sexual encounters. But guess what, I would also have a problem with heteroes who were trying to influence my child to have sex. I must admit, that I do not like being hit on by lesbians. But then again, I do not like being hit on by men that I do not think are up to my standards. And when it comes to rape, cross gender or not, I am totally against it. If it is unwelcome sexual contact, it is unwelcome, that is it. So again I propose that there really is no difference in behaviors.

Don't we think we are over sensationalizing this topic? It has got to the point that spreading a rumour that someone is gay, can potentially ruin that person's professional and personal life. All because someone disagrees with who they may or may not have had sex with? Again I ask, what is the real issue?

Then, I get to understand that there are those persons who have taken it upon themselves to have camps to "cure" persons of their "gay sickness." That is beyond ridiculous! Is there a cure for being black? Is there a cure for being West Indian? Is there a cure for being a woman? Is there a cure for being different? I assume it would be like denying yourself chocolate; at some point you will cave and over indulge. What is the point? When you think about it, isn't it that individual's right to do what they want with their life? Aren't we responsible for charting our own path? There can be guides to help us along the way but in the end, can't an individual make up their own mind as to what they believe is their sexual orientation?

I have also heard of persons advocating against gays in the name of saving their souls. But who is really responsible for saving another's soul? Again, I believe that we can guide others, but really each person is responsible for their own soul and salvation. By advocating the death of gays, aren't you also placing your own soul in jeopardy. Why jeopardize your own soul because of someone else's actions?

This epidemic of irrational behaviour is only a reflection on the faults with our species. We are doomed to forever prejudice against a group of people that are different from ourselves. Throughout history there are so many instances where a group has been alienated: poor people vs the rich; Chinese vs Americans; blacks vs whites; women vs men; Caribbean Indians vs Spaniards; Native American Indians vs Pilgrims; Natzis vs the Jews; and so many more. We have all suffered from some form of discrimination, and so, shouldn't we stop the wave of hate and exclusion? Since we have all experienced it in some form or the other, why would we want someone else to feel how we felt at that point?

You will often find me saying that I am happy when and where I was born. As a young black English speaking Caribbean woman, these times are filled with enthusiasm and opportunities. In the past I would have been a slave referred to as a cow. As a woman I wouldn't have any control over the direction of my life. Thanks to strong black people, strong women, and strong white people, I am now able to choose my own path. I am able to make my own mistakes, make my own opportunities, and be my own master. I cannot then turn around and look at another group of humans and say, don't make your own mistakes, don't make your own opportunities, and don't be the master of your own life. I think it is unfair and unjust to do so.

Gays have fought long and hard to let their voices be heard. They have told the world that they are not anomalies, there is nothing wrong with them, that they are to be accepted in society and that they have rights much like any one else (the right to have sex without going to jail; the right to get married; the right to have children; etc.) I propose that they should have a right to the same standards as heteroes.

My problem arises when heteroes are barred from doing things because of gays. If we are speaking about equal rights, then it should be equal rights. No one group should have an advantage. I remember an incident where a popular Jamaican hotel decided to advertise them self as heterosexual couples only and the gay community bashed the owners of the hotel stating that they shouldn't be excluded. I propose that there are many hotels that specialize in various things. There are hotels that say singles only or couples only. There are hotels that are built for sports enthusiasts versus those who only want to lay back and relax. There are also clubs and places that are gays only. So my question is, why can't there be a business place that specialize in taking care of heterosexuals only? I do not think that it is fair to prevent a business from choosing a niche market.

The thing I really don't understand most is when parents disown their children because they came out of the closet. Isn't your child's happiness more important than your pride? I have recently become a mother myself, and at this point in my life I don't see myself disowning my child if she tells me she's a lesbian. I will admit that I might be uncomfortable at first - hey I don't know any lesbians so I wouldn't know what to say or how to act - but that doesn't mean I would disown her. She is of my flesh; I carried her for nine months and I love her every day. If she makes a decision to do something that I do not agree with, that does not mean that she is longer my child! It doesn't negate the nine months or the how many years that I have cared for and loved her! It just means she was brave enough to make a decision to tell me.

That leads to the one thing that really bothers me about this gay bashing issue. Some gay people are so afraid to come out of the closet due to gay bashing or the "shaming" of their family that they pretend that they are straight, marry some poor unsuspecting heterosexual woman, waste her youth and when they are in their fifties or so, come out of the closet. No, this has not happened to me personally nor do I have a person in my circles that this has happened to, but the mere thought of it upsets me. It isn't right for a woman to fall in love with a man and marry him, to then hear twenty, thirty, forty, or even fifty years later that he is gay. Gays should be free to declare who they are without any possibility of discrimination so that women can have a fair chance at happiness and to truly get their happily ever after.

At the end of the day, I do not think we have a right to tell consenting adults who they should have sex with. We shouldn't be advocating for one sin to mitigate against another sin. We should allow gays the freedom to declare who they are with no fear of discrimination. Let them be free to come out of the closet and elevate them self from the down low so that other peoples' lives are not ruined. And if you are worried about their afterlife, remember that we are ALL judged by our actions when we go to the other side.